Misheard Lyrics of my Life

Joan Baez: “The ants are my friends, they’re blowing in the wind….”

Eiffel 65: “I’m blue, I’m in need of a guy, I’m on speed, I’m a guy, I’m in need of a guy…”

Simon & Garfunkel: “In restless dreams I wore cologne….narrow streets of cobblestone…”

Macy Gray: “When I try to hide it, it’s clear: I work at Coco’s when you are not near.”

KC & The Sunshine Band: “Freeze the Boat….don’t go….I’m begging you to stay…”

Elton John: “Somewhere that road fucks up ahead to ignorance and innocence.”

Elton John: “They said you were a treadmill, and they made you change your name…”

Elton John: “Don’t let your son go down on me….”

Elton John: “I’m a rocket man….Burning down the streets on everyone…”

[I think Sir Elton’s accent might be a bit of a problem]

Queen: “Ich will nacht [I want night]….we will not let you go”

[My childhood music experience was very confusing, as you can see]

And because I found it on the Internet and it made me laugh till I peed, I bring you, the Australian National Anthem:

Australians all own ostriches
Four minus one is three
We’ve olden royals, we’re fair and loyal
Our home is dirt by sea
I learned to bounce when nature stripped
In booties stitched with care
In mystery’s haze, let’s harvest maize
And plant azaleas there
Enjoy full trains and let us in
And dance! Australia, yeah!

Correct lyrics:

Australians all let us rejoice
For we are young and free
We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil
Our home is girt by sea
Our land abounds in nature’s gifts
Of beauty, rich and rare
In history’s page, let every stage
Advance Australia Fair!
In joyful strains then let us sing,
Advance Australia Fair!

Go ahead, listen to these songs. Tell me I’m wrong.


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