Archive for May, 2005

Ack, behind

31 May 2005

It’s truly glorious to be free of class. I mean in a school way, not in an etiquette way. Although that would be nice too.

Went to Catalina two weekends ago, staying at my aunt’s apartment and driving her golf cart all around the island. I love how on Catalina houses are tiny (cause of the precious real estate), roads are narrow (because cars are severly limited), and most vehicles are golf carts. The end result is that everything feels 3/4 scale, like being Gulliver in Lilliput, especially for 6’2″ me. Pat also informed us that if you register a car to a Catalina address, it’s exempt from California’s smog check (apparently if you’re 23 miles or more from the mainland you’re exempt), whether or not the car’s actually on Catalina. I wanna be smog-exempt! Ooh! Brilliant plan! When I go back East for my PhD, I’ll register my car at that address. That way I don’t have to reregister my car wherever I end up (since the difficulty of driving the car back to CA for the smog check every two years would be the only reason to switch it to a local tag). Ooh, how brilliant! On the return trip, because my aunt is a super-duper VIP on the ferry (since she makes the trip twice a week for work), we got to sit in the Commodore’s Lounge, where you get a cushy, reclining leather chair with free booze and snacks. Plus, you get to enjoy the admiring glances of the plebians huddled outside in the foggy dampness as you hurtle along between Avalon Harbor and Long Beach. Oh it’s fun to pretend to be rich.

This past weekend we did fire clearance up at the cabin. The banner year for rain was good for last year’s drought, but it also resulted in unbelievable amounts of growth up there. We spent hours pulling weeds by hand, raking weeds, raking leaves, and still only got half done. And none of us could stand up the next day. Whee. On the plus side, the blockage in the gray water line that prevented us from using the shower or sinks seems to have cleared itself up. Which is good, cause when you call a plumber and ask if they’ll work on a septic system in the woods, the resulting incredulous laughter really hurts your ears.

On a related note, anyone know where the hell you can buy mineral oil? I’ve looked at the grocery store, Home Depot, Target and the local hardware store, and have come up empty-handed thus far. How’s a boy supposed to oil his butcher block countertops without mineral oil?

In other news, the EA degree for Fraternity is a go. Happy happy! It’ll be the first time since the lodge was founded (fair disclosure: the lodge was only founded 5 years ago) that we’ve done any degree work. Yay travel. Yay friends. Yay esoteric ritual.

Sadly, we didn’t go to NorCal as we had planned for Memorial Day. My great aunt was having Irish premonitions of mayhem, so we cancelled in favor of going another, non-holiday, weekend. As it turns out, the premonotion was correct, as my other aunt had a water pipe burst under her bathroom on Saturday, so had we been out of town she’d’ve come home to the cat floating down the raging river of a street on a couch cushion. And that cat’s scarred enough as it is.

So over there to the right you see a small listing of the blogs I read with regularity. This is, however, a partial list. My usual blog routine goes as such:

Start out with dooce, possibly checking blurbomat before checking dooce’s photo of the day. From there, it’s off to A Little Pregnant, who serves as the launch pad for Chez Miscarriage, Greener Pastures, Leery Polyp, So Close, and The Naked Ovary. Next, we jump to One Good Thing, which also serves as a springboard to Bitch PhD, Defective Yeti, Daddyzine, Feministing, GwenWorld, Tequila Mockingbird, World O’Crap, and Frog. If there’s a new entry at Knife-Wielding Feminists, I’ll check that out too. Because nobody has a handy link, I have to manually then go to Andreah, and then I remember my newest blog obsession, Suburban Bliss.

Then I can go on to email and work and those other insignificant things. Oh blogs, you make time worth wasting.


New Site

25 May 2005

starting own web site. 10 mb from long beach straining. visit it’s just circular now, but in time it will be so glorious to behold you’ll wet yourself. promise.

Holy Crap

17 May 2005

Wow. According to SiteMeter, people actually read this site. Not many, but still. I thought I was screaming to the the cold cold vacuum of space.

Just out of curiosity, who the blinding hell is reading this from the University of Michigan? I’ve racked my brain and can’t come up with anyone I know from MI who’s still in MI.

In any event, comment! Make me feel loved. That is all.

Today was the banner day for how not to live your life. I got up at 10 AM, started writing, and stopped around 10:30PM, taking a total of maybe an hour to eat, water the plants, piss, etc. While this means I’ve been freakishly productive, it also means I have BO, 5 o’clock shadow, and haven’t left the house. Damn. All eyes on Thursday…I’ll be done, I can drink an entire bottle of Maker’s Mark and sleep my pretty little face off. And then go to Catalina, NorCal, DC, Wisconsin, NorCal again, and generally make merry mayhem.

Maybe I’ll post a link to a paper I wrote during this time of tribulation, just so y’all can see the brilliance I have for sculpting verbal diarrhea.

Wow, disjointed. Hope my papers read better than this.

Signing off.

Yet Another Half-Arsed Entry

14 May 2005

Still in the deep of finals. Digging out though. Been reading new blogs, including Frog‘s. She’s a feminist lesbian Anglican (sorry, I just can’t get used to the term Episcopalian), which means she’d be my non-evil midwestern twin if only I liked girls or she liked boys.

In other news (which will be related to the first in due course) the Backstreet Boys will be releasing a new album in June of this year. They’ve not released an original album since 2001 or so, and I had finally laid to rest my adolescent adoration of them and consigned them to the ‘nostalgia’ category of my memory bank. So it’s almost understandable that when I heard their new single “Incomplete” on KIIS-FM the other day I almost swerved into a parked car.

Here’s the embarrasing thing. I still like their music. I still have a schoolgirl’s crush on Howie. Dammit dammit dammit. When will my awkward teenage days be behind me? When I’m 40?

In any event, in honor of my resurrected screaming mimi fandom, I stole this mini-meme (I shall call it…Mini-meme) from Frog and answered it according to the BSB discography (no, they’re not my favorite artists…c’mon, nobody’s that gay…)

Begin unmitigated theft…..right….now

It’s a simple concept. Take your favorite artist then answer the questions using only song titles from that artist.

1. Are you male or female?: Boys Will Be Boys
2. Describe yourself: Show Me the Meaning of Being Lonely
3. How do some people feel about you?: Children of the World
4. How do you feel about yourself?: Drowning
5. Describe your girlfriend/boyfriend/interest: I Want it That Way
6. Where would you rather be?: Set Adrift on Memory Bliss (so it’s a remake, shoot me)
7. Describe what you want to be: The Answer to Our Life
8. Describe how you live: It’s true
9. Describe how you love: Endlessly (a never-released track. you know you need help when…)
10. Share a few words of wisdom: If You Want it to Be Good Girl, Get Yourself a Bad Boy

A quick note

13 May 2005

Finals consume me. 3,000 words a day from now until Thursday. I did find an away message that seems particularly apt for my situation though:

“When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.”

Feel that? That’s the Dark Lord preparing an especially hot place in hell for me.


I Love Memes

4 May 2005

From Gwen:

Three names you go by:
1. Chris
2. Blizl
3. Bob

Three screen names you have:
1. ctblood
2. PolyUnsatCRT (in biochemistry, unsaturated fats are “kinky”)
3. PurpleSquirrelCT (while playing a Zelda game, a friend tried to say ‘purple scroll’ but it came out as ‘purple squirrel’)

Three things you like about yourself:
1. I can see humor in almost any situation.
2. I’m not easily swayed by others’ opinions.
3. I make a stupendous chicken curry.

Three things you hate/dislike about yourself:
1. I’m painfully shy.
2. I have a knack for putting my foot in my mouth
3. I have no sense of style.

Three parts of your heritage:
1. Irish
2. Welsh
3. German

Three things that scare you:
1. Ann Coulter
2. grasshoppers

Three of your everyday essentials:
1. Kiehl’s aftershave lotion
2. my iPod
3. my memory foam pillow

Three things you are wearing right now:
1. 2(x)ist tanga briefs
2. argyle socks
3. guess? jeans

Three of your favorite bands/artists:
1. Aventura
2. Josh Groban
3. Howie Day

Three of your favorite songs at present:
1. “Collide (Live)”-Howie Day
2. “Perdí El Control”-Aventura
3. “Vivo Per Lei”-Andrea Bocelli

Three new things you want to try in the next 12 months:
1. Learn two new languages.
2. Find a F&AM Lodge in California.
3. Get a six-pack.

Three things you want in a relationship (love is a given):
1. Coddling when sick/depressed.
2. Different but complementary intellectual style.
3. Ability to hear what I don’t say.

Three physical things that appeal to you about those to whom you are attracted:
1. Eyes
2. Neck/shoulders
3. Calves

Three things you just can’t do:
1. Properly identify East and West (from living on both coasts).
2. Keep my mouth shut when I should.
3. Drive on the freeway without yelling at other drivers.

Three of your favorite hobbies:
1. Beach
2. Hiking
3. Travel

Three things you want to do very much right now:
1. Go home.
2. Finish this semester before I drop dead.
3. Get laid.

Three places you want to go on vacation:
1. Sydney.
2. Mazatlán.
3. Provincetown.

Three kids’ names: for either a boy or girl:
1. Stac(e)y
2. Pat
3. Billy

Three things you want to do before you die:
1. Visit all 7 continents.
2. Go to a nude beach/camp/resort.
3. Live on another continent.

The Decline of Polite Society

4 May 2005

I rue the demise of a polite society. Not because I abhor rudeness. Those who know me know I live to make people uncomfortable. No, it’s because of the time, effort, and general displays of idiocy that ensue.

By way of explication:
I don’t like brie cheese. I don’t like it straight, I don’t like it on toast, I don’t like it baked on bread. Just don’t like it. In a polite society, someone could ask me if I liked brie and I could just say no and leave it at that, perhaps with my interlocutor saying, “Oh, that’s unfortunate.” Instead, I get asked, “Oh my gaaawwwwd, why not? It’s the best thing eeeeever! How can you not like it?” Oh, I’m sorry dearie, I didn’t realize it was so divine. Thank you for pointing out that my taste buds and my own preferences are sick and wrong and how vastly superior yours are. I bow before your massive ego and tremendous sense of self-importance.

And then I’m forced to respond. And it goes something like this. “I don’t like brie ’cause it tastes like cum.” And it does. It’s all the flavor and grossness of a blowjob without having a person you like up there to receive it and reciprocate. And then the interlocutor gets all offended, like “Oh my God, I can’t believe you just said that.” Well, hon, you let the rudeness cat out of the bag, I’m just making you regret that you did it. And as a side bonus, I’m ensuring that YOU’LL NEVER EAT BRIE AGAIN CAUSE YOU’LL THINK ABOUT CUM WHENEVER YOU TRY. WAHAHAHAHAHA.

Same goes for grapefruit. It smells like a rimjob tastes. And don’t give me bullshit about taste being different from smell. THEY’RE THE SAME SENSE, DIFFERENT APPLICATION. Ask an ENT. So yes, grapefruit is like a wet, slimy rimjob without a person you love on the receiving end to make it all worth it (and if you’re giving rimjobs to people you don’t actually love, you’re a sick sick human being. Blowjob for a trick, sure. Rimjob, not on your life).

So before you let your massive ego loose on unsuspecting members of society, think of this warning ask if I really want to suffer the consequences of being an insufferable prick if the person I offend happens to be smarter and quicker on their feet than you.


1 May 2005

I love DC. I miss DC when I’m not in it. I miss the people in DC whether I’m here or not.

The surprise was a success. Jen thought her surprise was a vacuum. Instead it was me. Happy days! 🙂

Of course I meet a stupendous stupendous guy when I’m only here for 36 more hours and can’t do anything about it. Grrr.