The times they are a busy

Whew. Back from my whirlwind tour of DC. God, I love that city. I also love Jen, and the fact that they happen to exist in the same physical location is quite convenient.

Apparently, the airlines have decided that it’s better to have you sitting on the ground in a holding pattern than have you in the air in a holding pattern. When I checked in, the nice lady behind the counter told me there was a delay for an unspecified reason. My 12:30 departure became a 1:40 departure, and they told us (when we had finally departed) that there were storms in DC, so the DCA controllers called up LAX and had us sit on the ground to wait out the storm. Of course, it was still thunderstorming when we landed in DC, so that fucktastic idea was for naught. Oh well. My jet-setting lifestyle this year will probably be earning me MVP status on Alaska, which would be nice….shorter lines, preboarding so my luggage space won’t be taken up by wealthy foreign tourists who don’t understand that, in English at least, “one carry-on plus a personal item such as a purse or briefcase” doesn’t mean “sixteen Louis Vuitton bags, four Gucci sacks, and my purse because I’m too good to put it under my seat.”

God must also have an auto-jinxing theo-program written for me, since every time I set foot in the District I get violently ill. In October I was the sickest I’ve ever been in my life with the flu and spent most of the time on the couch. This time I got a sore throat and hacked up yukky chunks for the first two days. The downsides to this were (other than feeling yucky), I only got to have two glasses of wine with dinner on Thursday, and I had to brush my teeth every eleven minutes, or my breath began to smell like I’d been giving rimjobs to homeless guys. Blech.

We also previewed the Bear II video, in which I sent another teddy bear to Hell for the Fourth of July. If I can find a way to reduce it in size, I’ll post it here. Amusingly, the very person who was symbolically represented by the bear also watched the video and laughed his ass off (not knowing it was his pito we were symbolically lighting to destroy the poor thing). One of these days karma’s gonna catch up to me. And when it does, it’ll be a doozy.

Today’s ma’s birthday, so we’re going to dinner at Dal Rae, as we do every time someone in the family has a birthday. I got her Bill Clinton’s autobiography on audiocassette, so she can listen to it on the way to work. Judy (of medicine cabinet fame) was supposed to come over and help me take down some old drapes too, but she’s spastic and didn’t, so I only got to take down the outer set. Even so, the living room looks a hundred times brighter. Yay home improvement.

All right, into the shower with me. Catch you on the flip side.

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