In Which I Self-Medicate

First, housekeeping duties:

Sorry to the multitiudes who IMed me last/night this morning when my computer signed itself on. The new version of AIM also automatically turned off the “allow people to know I’m idle” checkbox. Hell, most people know I don’t voluntary get out of bed before 10, so they probably figured something was up if I was on at 6 AM, but just in case.

Second, my former roommate and one of my favorite people on the planet (Hi Doug! Nice to hear from you.) pointed out an error in my post about the Christofascists. I characterized them as mostly “upper class,” which of course, they’re not. I was thinking of their ringleaders, people like Jerry Falwell and James Dobson and the purple-haired lady on the God channel, who live like royalty off the donations sent in by their adherents. As Doug says, “Most of the south doesn’t have two nickels to rub together but they manage to rally behind killing arabs in the name of jesus.” Which, when you think about it, makes you realize the brilliance of the conservative movement: bamboozle the people who don’t have two nickels to rub together into thinking you give a shit about them. Then they’ll vote for you and you can proceed to rob them even blinder. It seems to be working quite well. In a few years, I could see a sort of feudalism returning to our society The few owning all the land, all the factories and controlling the government while the masses are forced to lease land, work in the owned factories and submit to the totatlitarian government while digging themselves ever deeper as they fall behind on rent owned to the noblesRepublicans for the privilege of subsistence. But I digress. But thanks, Doug.

I’ve been an insomniac lately. Not just ‘lie awake for a few hours because I took a nap in the middle of the day’ kind of insomnia, but the ‘oh my God I’m exhausted but I still can’t fall asleep until 6 AM’ kind of insomnia. Getting kind of fed up with the whole thing, I bought some of the OTC sleep aids at the store. The active ingredient in them is diphenhydramine, the same decongestant found in things like Sudafed, which is why Sudafed makes you drowsy. Knowing that Sudafed doesn’t make me drowsy, I looked in my PDR to see what kind of doses are appropriate. While the recommended dosage on the box is 50mg (2 pills), the PDR said prescription strength is 100-200mg. So I took four pills (100mg) around 11 last night. Around midnight I decided the little shits weren’t working and decided to bring in the heavy artillery. I went downstairs to the medicine cabinet and got a vicodin from when I had my wisdom teeth removed. Popped that little sucker in, and waited about 15 minutes.

Sweet.

Merciful.

Crap.

The colors! The sounds! The spins! It was like being the drunkest I’d ever been, without any of the attendant stomach upset. I saw shimmering colors, I could feel my limbs and head floating away, I got the spins, the whole bit. I thought my pillow was talking to me, but then I realized it was just narrating the blog I was reading on the computer (go check Lisa out…she rocks, even if you’re not hopping on vicodin). Trouble was, I couldn’t fall asleep because I was so dizzy and twitchy. Now I know why people abuse narcotics. It could be fun, if it weren’t so freaking uncomfortable. I remembered then why after my wisdom teeth surgery I took one vicodin and never took another. That shit is off the hook.

So tonight I’ll be going back to my diphenhydramine. Maybe kick it in a little earlier, maybe take a little more, maybe have a glass of wine before bed to speed things along. I’ll let you know how it goes. And I’ll save the Vicodin for when I have to sit through church with Dad for 4 hours. I can claim to speak in tongues and be moved by the Spirit of the Christofascists.

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