While we’re on the subject of Canada

Via Twisty comes this report of a Canadian man who was let off rape charges because he has sexsomnia: sexual behavior while asleep.

Twisty hits the nail on the head quite nicely; I only have one note to add.

He only suspected he had had sex after using the bathroom and discovering he was still wearing a condom, court heard. He confessed to police.

What the fuck?

I would think if you got thrown off the couch, probably the first thing you felt (after your ass hitting the floor) would be a condom on your prick. I suppose I can’t speak for every other man in the world, but Jeebus, condoms are tight enough that you ought to be very aware that it’s there, especially if you’re not “aware” that you’re having sex.

Which leads me to my next bout of incredulousness: he had a bloody condom on! Two things about that shoot wide holes in his story. One, how the hell would you put a condom on in your sleep, let alone take off enough of this woman’s clothes to be able to rape her? Hell, getting those damn things open (the condoms, not the woman’s clothing) is enough of a challenge when you’re wide awake! Two, if this sexual behavior is automatic (since it’s occurring in sleep), how would the condom have come into play anyway? It’s not like condom use is so ingrained that it would become automatic like breathing or blinking. Granted, people perform extraordinary feats when sleepwalking (with specific reference to Bill’s getting into our neighbor’s Lexus and Doug’s climbing two flights of stairs to try to join Mike in his bed), but I have a really hard time believing that, in his sleep, this guy remembered he had a condom, remembered where it was, got it open, got himself hard, slipped it on, disenrobed his victim, and went to town on her, all while asleep.

Methinks he was just drunk, had what at the time seemed to his drunken mind a brilliant idea (to bang a sleeping drunk woman), and was shocked back to reality when the victim woke up and threw his ass to the floor.

Guess Canada really is America Junior.


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