Schizo-blog

I haven't posted in a while, mostly because I have too many things I want to write about. Ironic, isn't it? It's the same problem I have with my thesis search. I have too many subjects I'm interested in to settle down with just one.

First on the list, I really want a seersucker suit. I know. I'm neither southern nor an aristocrat (although I had a true southern gentleman tell me I am in fact an aristocrat). Part of the impetus is the fact that two of my cousins are getting married this summer, and nothing would horrify their "The Real OC" sensibilities than good old-fashioned seersucker. I doubt 99.5% of the people in California have ever even seen seersucker, so the impact would be all the greater.

While googling to feed my seersucker fetish, I came upon this site, which notes that wearing a red tie with seersucker marks one a something of a 'rakehell'. Since I don't often come upon words I've never before encountered, I then had to google 'rakehell'. According to jargondatabase.com, a rakehell is "sort of a cross between a playboy (in the classic 50s sense of the word) and a non-threatening pervert." I can honestly say I've never heard a more apt description of me. So, rakehell it is! I have the perfect red tie for it, too….

Next on my list is an open letter to the jackass who was on my flight from DCA to LAX last Sunday.

Dear Jackass,

Do you really think getting mad at the ticket agent that there's no place for people who have checked in online to just hand over their bag is going to effect any sort of change? Alaska Airlines makes maybe two flights out of DCA per day. They have like three ticketing personnel and three stations to work out of. It would be idiotic to take away one or more of those personnel just to indulge the maybe 10% of the fliers that checked in online. And bitching about it isn't going to make them say "you know what, why don't I serve this man's infantile needs?" It's going to get you reseated next to the lavatories.

In the same vein, how is haranguing a poor baggage office employee going to get our baggage there any sooner? Do you think he's sitting there with a magic button that will make our luggage appear? We arrived 45 minutes early. The baggage handling folk probably had other things to do and couldn't rush on over to accommodate us. It's not like they're playing a big practical joke and watching us squirm. "heh heh, look at the poor saps…wanting their bags like peasants. Oh, oh, he's complaining, better let it through." There are so many better ways to expend you energies than yelling and screaming about things you can't change. Asshat.

Love,

     Blizl
 

Moving on, I must be getting kinder-looking as I age. When I was flying back from DC, running on an hour and a half of sleep and looking like absolute hell, unshaven and everything, several elderly folk chatted me up and told me what a nice young man I am and how I was going to go far. I don't know how they came to that conclusion based on my telling them I was in DC to visit friends and am a graduate student, but hey, I'll take what I can get. Personally, if I saw myself with two days worth of beard, big bags under my eyes and hair you could lose a small child in, I'd make a conspicuous effort to avoid talking to me.

Lastly, I have the quote of the day. While watching What Ever Happened to Baby Jane? (1962), my movie-watching companion had this one-liner regarding Elvira, the quintessential person-of-color housekeeper:

"Before Elvira, the Mistress of the Dark, there was Elvira: the Mistress Who Was Dark."

I'll leave the question of whether that's racist or not to history. It was damn funny though.

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