More Reasons to Love my Aunt M

This evening, I picked up the phone to call my Aunt M to see if she wanted to go to dinner. Her phone rang and rang, and eventually her answering machine picked up. Halfway through the outgoing message, she picked up with the usual “Hello?”

“Hello.” I said back.

“George W. Bush is a moron,” she replied.

“Well, yes, I know that.”

“I just wanted it to be on the NSA computers since he’s recording all our phone calls.”

“So that’s gonna replace ‘hello’ for you from hereon out?”

“Pretty much.”

“Splendid.”

This aunt is known for her shoot-from-the-hip style. While in DC for my graduation, my mom and aunts and uncle and cousins were walking around the Mall/Smithsonian area talking politics. As is his wont, my uncle (not Aunt M’s husband) was talking about how wonderful Republicans are and how they never lie and never steal from the people. Aunt M turned around, scrunched up her face, put her arms out with the V salute on each hand, and exclaimed, “I am not a crook!”
That shut him up for a while.
This past Christmas, I was debating which set of china to use for the big dinner: Ma’s wedding china or the set she bought about ten years ago. Aunt M asked which had the bigger plates. I said the wedding china had bigger dinner plates. She looked me straight in the eye and said “We need the bigger plates.” Cause it just isn’t Christmas unless someone’s button pops off their clothing. Or my Great Aunt P calls someone a slut.

I love my family.

ETA: As I was finishing this post, Ma waltzed into my room and announced that she needed a drink. So we did a shot of tequila. Then a mai tai. And now I’m typing this rather drunk indeed. I love my family even more.

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